Mr. T
Michael Jackson
San Diego Chicken
Muhammad Ali
Where's the Beef?
R. Crumb
Jack LaLanne
Bionic Man
Mario Andretti
Reggie Bar
Pete Rose
Mike Mussina
The Melo Bar
Dick Tracy Candy Bar
Ruth's Home Run Bar
1982 Milwaukee Brewer Bar

My apologies for the big, Neanderthal bite taken out of this wrapper, but a friend gave it to me "as is." This is a typical example of candy that's supposed to somehow make you super-healthy and strong.

Sure, it has no preservatives, but please note the ominous and sneaky term "chocolatey" on the wrapper. This means that you're not actually getting any chocolate -- just a synthoid, congealed spread that is reminiscent of chocolate if all your senses are dulled.